Letter to the Ladies Vol. 11. This article was written by Flamboyant Psychologist Adejoro Olumofin.
(Learn Assertive Training and Diplomatic means with your Mother-in-law)
What is Assertive Training?
This is a Psychological process in which you learn how to
express your views without being rude or suggestive to second or third
party. This being said, the Mother-in-law/Daughter-in-law “beef” or
dispute is a Universal Phenomenon which has caused a lot of problems and
ended a lot of happy marriages and relationships. Some of these
disputes have led to verbal abuse, shouting matches, fights over
territory in the kitchen, disagreement over naming of children and even
Physical confrontations between Mothers and Daughters-in-law.
For you to understand any situation you have to go to its
origin, ladies take note, before you came into the equation, the apple
of your bae’s eye and his number one protector was his mother who he
showered with love and affection and then you came into the picture and
suddenly all the attention shifted from his mother to you. This change
is a process, naturally there will be some tension because it takes some
time for mothers in-law to get used to the fact that their sons are no
longer 100% theirs and they have to share him, or permission has to be
sort on certain things in his life which they usually did directly or
without question.
Ladies, you need to learn to be diplomatic with your
mothers in-law because you have more to lose than them. Pick your
battles, most times, your boyfriend or husband will take his mom’s side
if any dispute arises. Let me also say that no amount of Diplomacy or
Assertive Training will help you if your man is a “Mommy’s Boy” and
can’t handle his mom or if his mom doesn’t like you. Therefore, if
you’re in this situation where your man can not defend you or hold your
hand, you need to develop a thick skin, have patience and most
importantly PRAY. Studies have shown that the
mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is one of the most difficult
in social psychology and there isn’t any clear cut solution or approach
towards this, because the variables always differ i.e different
mothers/daughters-in-law have different cultural backgrounds,
personalities and family structures. Dear Ladies, may you not fall into a
bad mother-in-law situation. However, learn to adapt to your
environment and also learn how to manage such delicate relationship in a
diplomatic way. Dear mothers in-law, with due respect, I appeal to you
to use your wealth of experience to deal with your daughters in-law in
tactful ways, for the benefit of your son towards maintaining a happy
married life..
0 comments:
Post a Comment